The Old Man

I guess I started referring to my Dad as "The Old Man" because when I was a youngster my (at least I thought at the time) cool as snot older brother and sister called him that.

He was released after surgery to a supposed (as my ESM called it) a rehab., so Tad and I went to see him last Sunday. Maybe rehab/nursing home at best.

Getting old can be a real fucking bad thing. There were old peeps everywhere. Some crying, some with obviously advanced dementia/alzheimers.

Anyway, we visited with my Dad. He looked pretty worn, but then again he IS going to be 83 and honestly damn lucky to be in the shape he is. He started coughing a bit in conversation, then it got worse...I asked if he needed water "oh no honey I'm fine" hack hack...then he barfed all over himself. I told the nurse at the desk, next thing there were 5 attendants in the room, one had fresh towels (the ONE in the bathroom had vomit all over it, wonder where that came from?) and what did they do? One of them threw a towel over the mess on his chest and I supposed that was their way of fixing it?? Another asked him what he ate so he would be sure not to eat the same thing.

Anyway, I know he was embarrassed. He was sharing a room with another man who must have had a stroke and when he woke up and saw us there he kept trying to communicate so I went over to him and leaned close, and he kept making gestures with his hands touching his face. Then he started patting my hair and kept trying to speak.

Fuck.

I'm way the hell more afraid of living to be old than I am of dying younger than I should. Definitely. What I saw last Sunday drove that home in a brutal way.

Dad is back at home now and my dipshit brother was visiting this evening when I called to let him know that I may have a problem on my hands (or tit as it were). I think it's best to let everyone know just in case. At least the brother took him a Father's Day present which was thoughtful. Now if the jerk could just mow the damn lawn and give my mother and step-father some financial support since he's been living with them scott free all these years.

He is an embarassment. He will be 56 in July.

Oh well, not a damn thing I can do about that either, just like with most all things. You just ride with whatever comes and do your best.

I know a lot of my posts have been downers but I've been very very fortunate so far, and I'm grateful. I try not to lose sight of The Big Picture. :)